How to replace your significant other with an inanimate object

  • Charity
  • Imagination
  • Kindness
  • Forgiveness
  • Loyalty
  • Generosity
  • Patience

Whence touch

Go go gadget engineering

  • It’s always cold at night in San Francisco. Turning the blanket up to medium cures my icy feet instantly.
  • My arm under the pillow doesn’t fall asleep.
  • It doesn’t move around after I fall asleep, and it doesn’t care when I do.
  • It doesn’t feel neglected when I roll away.
  • No bones.
  • “I enjoy using it” → strongly agree.
  • “I would recommend it to a friend” → agree if single, neutral otherwise.
  • “I’m embarrassed when my friends see it” → agree, but here I am writing this post

Cuddlebot v2

  • Faux fur like sheepskin or husky — will definitely require a walking foot, machine washing could be tricky, but this could go a long way to reducing jealousy: “Don’t worry honey, it’s like a dog, not a person.”
  • Add weight — most weighted blankets use plastic pellets, but why not use a core made of sand, lentils, or gel packs?
  • Add some kind of arms — while this would increase the structural complexity, some people much prefer being little spoon. Instead of actually attaching the arms, we could use a long thin pillow that wraps around the main one, which would make the cover simpler while still providing leverage.
  • Embed the heating element in the pillow itself — when I seam ripped the blanket, it looked like the heating wire could easily be removed and retrofitted elsewhere. This would make cleaning the cover easier.

Appendix: Whence touch



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